Iris Explosion went to a sex party and spent the whole time talking about what kinds of sex parties different film directors would throw

Tim Burton: they start fun and hot, but turn out to be an excuse for the hosts to jerk each other off while his wife watches.
Hitchcock: everyone is immaculately dressed, no one is sure what's going on but it's great, host keeps being creepy toward ladies.
Spielberg: childish, wonderful glee for many years, everyone has a blast. Gets old, hosts one so bad you never want to fuck again.
Michael Bay: you pay to sit in an arena to watch conventionally attractive people do missionary while fireworks go off.
Zack Snyder: if you're a woman, you get to stand in a corner wearing lingerie, not talking. He tells you how empowered you are.
Eyes Wide Shut: masks, rituals, motionless women holding trays of lube and condoms. No one is allowed to have any fun.
2001 A Space Odyssey: enthusiastic subs mill about until one dom shows up in red sunglasses and runs everything from a corner. Then everyone drops acid.
Dr. Strangelove: two orgies trying to have the biggest orgasm without any basis for comparison. No fucking in the sex room.
Tarantino: lots of amiable chatting about pop culture, punctuated by bursts of violent BDSM. Lots of foot worship.
Kill Bill: all attendees beat up the same person in sequential scenes, then that person gets to beat up the host.
Reservoir Dogs: leathermen yelling at each other over very intense knife play. No one is sure who's topping whom.
Inglorious Basterds: the ones in Nazi uniforms are the subs. Someone w/ an improbable accent narrates everything.
Wes Anderson: successively bigger venue at each one, twee themes. You are surprised when you make a real emotional connection.
Del Toro: tentacles everywhere, he gets really excited just to watch, Ron Perlman sits on a throne smoking a cigar above everyone.
Kevin Smith: for the first few thinks he's just chilling with bros, when he realizes it's a sex party it becomes painfully unsexy
Chris Nolan: dimly lit, everyone takes the whole thing way too seriously. His BDSM party starts with aftercare.
J.J. Abrams: invites pretty people, but tries to impose his kinks on you. Shines bright lights in your face the whole time.
Miyazaki: cozy, sensual, you feel good about yourself. He keeps saying this is his last party, but throws a better one next year. Advertised for littles but everyone else likes them too.
Sofia Coppola: first few are great, after that everyone comes immaculately dressed, but no one is fucking anymore.
Lars Von Trier: Don't. Go.
Katherine Bigelow: you're really excited to go to a party hosted by a woman, turns out to be the super macho. Military-fetish.
Shyamalan: first one original, intriguing; following ones rehash it, host interrupts to gloat louder each time.
James Cameron: really expensive, features fabulous new tech for fucking, attendees unsure if theme is racist.
Joss Whedon: feels like family, really snappy dirty talk, you keep going back despite tragic injury each time.
Jet Li: beautifully choreographed scenes. Michelle Yeoh shows up, beats people while wearing a comfy sweater.
Peter Jackson: everyone loved that one party, so host keeps repeating it except it goes longer each time.
George Lucas: much more fun when they were held in host's basement with homemade toys. New slick dungeon is meh.
David Lynch: there's a man in the corner holding a tuba but doesn't play. Host yells at you intermittently. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
Wachowskis: First one is intended as a one-off. Legend grows, rest of parties are way too serious. Academics write papers on them.
Coen brothers: Consistently great, leaves all attendees sprawled out in either euphoria or deep depression, depending on the night.